Imagine you do something to offend our beloved Fishmish group, only to be sent to a place called Fishpurj through [redacted] methods on the [redacted] of May. You wake up to find that you have been temporarily incarnated as a small fish in a retention pond at your local golf course. You may look around, but no other fishy friend is in sight. Suddenly, you notice a hungry flock of 53 assorted piscitarian aves of all unclean sorts (egrets, herons, storks, etc.) about to rip you apart like a flock of aereoanahs*. This will keep happening to you over and over until you are truly sorry for what you did. The end.

First off, we’ve decided that spider sex is a physical impossibility and cannot happen in this universe. Mantis sex, on the other hand, is real and incredibly fun to watch.

The other rule is that I, the creator of this very tumblrog* is protected from being sent to Fishpurj. More on that later.

‘Fish’ is not a metaphor for ‘penis.’ We use ‘bear’ for that.

‘]j/ b=-p]

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Besides being a place in Canada, Fishimish is the holidy I just invented a few hours ago in celebration of the marriage of our two tables. From now until infinity, December 16th will be the day we celebrate. It is manditory to bring at least one fish so we can beat the living crap out of each other with them. Stay tuned for more announcements on this wonderous day.